Women on bikes
I decided to move to Montreal after seeing a woman riding a bike down the street.
Some context: I was in the middle of a month-long visit from across the coast, a few summers ago. We’d had our own instincts that led us to peek at the city - Dante’s experience there as a youngin, the opportunity to learn/speak multiple languages, a unique kind of diversity and sociability that emerged largely from the city’s immigrant presence and grassroots orgs, me missing fully fledged seasons, a cute group of friends and community eager for us to try the place out, FOOD, a moment of particular flexibility in our lives that we wanted to relish, the list goes on. So, we gave the city a try that summer, to see if we’d like it. Despite all these abstract hypotheses, it was a very specific moment that made the decision to permanently move real for me.
A Lady, and then More
While stepping off my street into a bike lane one day that summer, I narrowly missed a woman in her mid-forties(?) biking right by me, her eyes closed for just a split second, a smile on her face. A wave of surprise - “There’s a bike lane on this street?” gave way to more surprise - "People are closing their eyes in bike lanes?!” to even more surprise - “Since when have I seen a woman enjoying herself, blissfully unaware, in a public space?”
No, I don’t mean on social media - I mean in real life!
I kept noticing this on the rest of my trip. Call it familiarity bias, call it something in the air - I’d see women of all ages, colours and shapes, biking around with chins slightly up, lost in thought, heads cocked slightly to the side, soaking in some sun.
Granted, I probably noticed folks of all genders doing this during my month in the city. This also isn’t to say that the city is without fault, or an idyllic oasis - I also bet there are a lot of stressed out folks in this city. But, I was mostly surprised that witnessing one relaxed woman on a bike threw me off so much. (Reminds me of when I had a come-to-Jesus experience at my first burlesque show, witnessing women so in love with their bodies, on their own terms. I’d felt that about my body in the past, but had never seen that kind of acceptance celebrated so wholly before, without condition.)
Some mundane observations make me feel alive.
Explanations?
I came across a lovely online snippet a little bit ago, discussing how we (especially through media depictions) generally witness women in public spaces acquiescing to norms, or hustling hard to rebel courageously against them… but rarely as existing regardless of them, in ease. We can go into detail about how public spaces aren’t designed for women to exist comfortably within. For now, I’ll start at a broader level: There’s so much needed to allow people in general, women included, to feel at ease living in a city.
I’d argue that most of this is centred around cities having social safety nets that lessen need to worry about survival for people across socio-economic brackets, and a sense of community + grassroots programs that make an enjoyable life accessible to all, beyond the physical paywall of certain private spaces. I’m continuing to unravel the systemic bits lying underneath this observation.
Above all - I’m grateful for the chance to step into an intuition about something that feels so mundane yet radical to me. Then, I remember - we can be the world we seek. In acknowledging the beauty of that biking woman, I am that biking woman in my own way, and I love to see it/sit in it.
Reflections
At the root of it all, some simple truths ring clear. It’s a privilege, to be able to ask the following 2 questions in our daily lives:
What does it mean for me to create a world where I and others can feel held in the moment? (What can I do more of? Become more exposed to? Do less of? Continue to soak in?)
How can I ALLOW myself to be held by the innumerable moments of beauty around me, in order to savour them, tap into my intuitions, and better understand and shape the world?
Looking around myself as I write this post, some cute answers:
certain coffeeshops (a coziness, a playlist, a cross-section of people and characters gathering inside, a literal warmth…),
a fuzzy hat,
a city,
certain people, and communities,
and perhaps most importantly- an ability to stop in the middle of a busy day, and reflect.
Cheers to little observations that make time stand still, in this little life.
This week, how might you answer the above 2 questions for yourself?
Much <3,
Raha