Rest is not a coping mechanism.
(Hello! A welcome post for Raha, after a particularly full few weeks.)
So much of our day is spent coping.
It’s easy, then, to define rest as a reaction - to periods of hard work - or an in-between - sandwiched between periods of doing. Look for references to rest in popular culture, and that’s what you’ll often find. Is rest simply a coping mechanism, for productive people?
An alternative truth to what media stuffs down our throats: Rest is a core part of being human, not doing human.
An alternative invitation, then: What if we looked at rest less as a reaction to life - and more as an invitation to radically simplify our life?
The poet David Whyte asks:
What is it in your life that just by touching, you find a sense of rest in the act itself?
~
A beautiful poem below, to clarify his ask. Let’s learn a little about a swan who finds simultaneous grace and action in water, in ways that she can’t on ground.
The Swan
This clumsy living that moves lumbering
as if in ropes through what is not done,
reminds us of the awkward way the swan walks.
And to die, which is the letting go
of the ground we stand on and cling to every day,
is like the swan, when he nervously lets himself down
into the water, which receives him gaily
and which flows under
and after him, wave after wave,
while the swan, unmoving and marvelously calm,
is pleased to be carried, each moment more fully grown,
more like a king, further and further on.
-Ranier Maria Rilke, translation by Robert Bly
Just like that swan, it’s time for us to enter our effortless but thriving, alive-making waters.
What is an act - playing a musical instrument, washing a dish, dancing, having a beautiful conversation, reading, the list goes on- that feeds you in the moment, and that at the same, in Whyte’s delicious words, “provides a horizon of harvest in the future for yourself”?
~
Some thoughts to revisit the concept of Resting Just Because:
Figure out what actually rests you.
No, I don’t necessarily mean scrolling social media, taking a bubble bath/nap, or any of the normal options that society throws at us.
Think about activities that make you feel grounded, at ease, stable, and maybe even vibrant.
Stuck? Try micro-activities at random (e.g. 30 seconds of meditation, even if uncomfortable in the moment) and see how you feel afterwards.
Create rituals to rest throughout your week - and honour them in your schedule.
Ever felt blah after an hours-long Netflix binge? This might not have been a truly relaxing activity for you - or, you might just feel guilty because you did it at times you shouldn’t have. Get around this by proactively sprinkling smaller versions of resting activities throughout your week. Schedule them in!
See how these weekly rituals rest you, when on your calendar and not just a form of procrastination or distraction. If they don’t calm/ground/energize you, switch ‘em out.
Most importantly, remember: You don’t need to earn rest.
There are so many things that might stand in the way of us and meaningful rest. Maybe we haven’t practiced that muscle intentionally in a while. Maybe we feel like our life is too demanding to allow for it. Today, I’m not trying to solve for rest in our lives - I just want us to reframe our approach to it.
Rest shouldn’t feel like a distraction. At the same time - rest is never “earned”.
A small but big reminder for those who feel guilty or confused when pausing: Your to-do list will never finish. And then you’ll die. Seriously, dude.
It’s natural to derive our self-worth from past accomplishments, and dwell on thoughts about building for the future. May rest then be a tool for us to ground ourselves in the present, to appreciate the beauty we’ve have always had at our fingertips. Instead of constantly scraping to get by - in this little life, we deserve to come alive, like the swans that we are.
Today, revisit David Whyte’s invitation: “What is it in your life that just by touching, you find a sense of rest in the act itself?”
And what will you do this week, to revisit that act?
Much <3,
Raha