Real G's move in silence, like lasagna.
Today, we’re bowing before Lil’ Wayne, and the rappers before him that came up with most of the words in this title. (Unforts, not going to dive into the genius behind his wording, genius that apparently depends on whether or not you think the g in lasagna is silent. Pray for the WashPo Opinion section.) I just want to focus on how much I love the meaning behind this line!
Real Gs move in silence, like lasagna.
Moving in silence, at its core, is less about what we do or don’t do, and more about what we don’t rely on. Wanna share your dreams and progress with just those who have earned your trust? Sounds good. Wanna shout your plans from the rooftop with anyone who’s listening? Go for it! The real “ought” here is not about how we show up for the world, but about how we show up for ourselves.
Moving in silence tells me that we don’t need to rely on external validation as a placeholder for our identity and self-worth - that fire comes from within. That is powerful, silent, and incomparable stuff. Let’s dive in.
Lovely Ideas
I was speaking with a dear undergrad friend from Toronto a few days ago, after nearly a decade apart, and was blown away by how I remembered his kindness, openness and joy like it was just yesterday. As we caught up, he mentioned an idea he was working on to blend his hobbies and love of teaching, and I’d never heard of something before like the idea he mentioned. Would it resonate with strangers? Would it pick up? Who cares! In the moment, I thought this was the coolest idea because his passion spoke so clearly through to me. I love how his mind and heart worked and think that anyone who was exposed to his inner light would benefit from what he had to share.
The same thing happened when talking with a kind law school schoolmate the next day. She shared with me some ideas on worlds she wanted to build, and my immediate thought was - Duh. The world will be so much better for your light, shining in this way. I was grateful to even get a peek at that light. In both cases, the ideas that these lovely folks had were ideas that came from a unique place of intuition about each person’s inner light, and how they wanted to connect with the world. Nobody could point out that light, or those ideas, to these lovely folks… but themselves. For me, that’s why moving in silence is so important. The more in line with our light we want to be, the more unique and self-driven our story will have to be, to be truly magnificent.
The lesson
Moving in silence means committing to the deep work. It means listening to our intuition when deciding on our steps, instead of judging our worth based on applause, immediate or eventual. Moving in silence means working in a way that comes from a place of curiosity about the world and our gifts… rather than from a place where external validation is used to replace a missing sense of identity. It lets us make more space to listen to our light and the little moments that come with them. The deep work follows naturally.
On the How
Karen Walrond’s book, The Lightmaker’s Manifesto, offers some lovely tips on how working in silence is a lovely way to build towards our light, especially when we don’t know exactly where to start. When we take the time to go at our own pace, think about what our “spark statement” is, or brainstorm ways to live into that statement, and quietly listen to leaders in the spaces that resonate with worlds our intuitions want us to be in… we make quiet baby steps to build confidence in our own powerful light.
Some ideas below on how to tap into our intuition when moving through the world, rather than focusing on external applause:
Explore your gifts.
Create a mind map. Karen dives into this a bit in her book, but the principle is universal. (Hit me up if you want to take a peek at my mind map! I ended up making this long before I read the book, but it’s the same logic, and a great way for me to make full use of Raha-style thoughts that jump in a bajillion different directions every minute. I love looking back on it because it’s an awesome kick in the butt.)
Start with a main concept in the centre that captures a a mission you’re passionate about. It can be as vague as the word “connection”, or as specific as a mission statement.
Branch off of this concept with any and all ideas (e.g. actions you can do) to bring this vision to life. List everything you can as quickly as the ideas come. Don’t hold back! Create further branches if one idea can lead to further different projects or avenues.
Step back after brainstorming and circle the ideas that feel most fun to you. These become core goals around which you can then build new charts outlining next steps to achieving these goals in ways that harness your current experience, your mission, and your vision for what an end result can look like.
Revisit this mind map regularly!
Be soft with yourself. (Some Raha ideas)
Revisit. Wean yourself off of social media in your personal time. My partner beat me to this a year ago. The truth I’m leaning more into: Regardless of how novel the things we find online are, most social platforms force us to develop dopamine triggers to crave outer validation or input, because that keeps our eyeballs on platforms, as unwitting consumers. (Not new to the internet! A tale as old as… consumerism.) Triggers that keep us hooked on external input silence inner intuition. Not fun.
Break the reflex, and limit screen time. Replace it with time building circles and existing in a way that feels more deeply nurturing, with phones away.
Reach out. Surround yourself with kind folks who love your light and push you to pay attention to it, and are trying to do the same. These include closest friends, and lovely lights I’ve been privileged to cross paths with in this life. Spend time being, discussing, and building together with these folks, with phones away. This creates a deeply fulfilling dopamine kick that no social media can replicate. It’s a beautiful thing, to feel seen and heard in your closest circles - you’ll find yourself building naturally. Consider therapy or life coaching as a deeper form of having someone hold space for you.
Reach in. Frame time that you spend with yourself, your body and the world as something to crave. You’ll be surprised at what the world and your body tells you (light or heavy) when you approach it with kindness, outside of the noise of external validation. Grab a coat, leave your phone behind, and think about catching up with the world and yourself as if they were a really exciting friend who agreed to meet up with you. Perhaps that will make meditative moments, chai/dance breaks (or whatever feels right to you) more like something to crave, even if our coping mind tells us that work or online stimulation is more needed. <3
Wishing you a warm and enveloping and nurturing and on-your-butt fire as you move silently in your light. It’s time to learn how to listen to the beauty of your inner fire, so you can build with it.
Much <3, always,
Raha